A Grey Area

This post will be a Kilmarnock special. Enjoy...

Kilmarnock Part 1
Martin's anecdote about the neds and the milkshake outside MacDonalds reminded me of my own experience, involving more of Kilmarnock's finest...
It was a dull, overcast day and I was passing through Kilmarnock on the Ayr to Glasgow bus. The bus stopped at Kilmarnock bus station, as usual. Looking out of the window to my right I saw what looked to be some commotion. I turned and looked over towards the park across the road, to see what was between 20-40 neds engaged in what appeared to be mortal combat. They had planks, golf clubs - you name it and it was probably being used as a "chib". What was odd about this was that it looked as if they were sparring rather than engaged in serious battle. It was hard to tell from that distance. I was just so surprised at the sheer number of them, and from the safety of a perspex window, several hundred yards away, it was actually quite amusing. Perhaps they were rehearsing for the coming Saturday's night out in Kilmarnock town centre! I can imagine the foreign tourists who have come over to see "Bonny Scotland" and one of the first things they see after getting on the bus at Prestwick Airport are 40 or so neds fighting! Good old Killie!

Amateur Evolution Soccer 5
Played evolution soccer again on Tuesday. Our team had a man down and so we were struggling from the outset. Despite this, we had some good moments and at times seemed to dominate play. Still, an open goal is an open goal (everyone wanted to play outfield), and our non-existent keeper unsurprisingly failed to make a single save from the relentless long-range efforts which were sent his way. We still scored several, and I myself have remained true to my average tally of 1 goal per game - this was my best so far, as it was a solo effort, taking it easily past a defender before placing it into one of the corners of the net. After that initial burst of quality (well, by my standards), my lack of fitness kicked in and the edge was gone. Still, I think it's an improvement stamina-wise from last week. One of the more battle-hardened players, Jim, was the rock in midfield who barked our orders and helped us play as a more cohesive unit.
For me, the best moment was when, in the centre of midfield, I controlled an aerial ball with my head, and I think before it even hit the ground, I hit a lofted through ball which nearly got to the intended recipient. What was especially good was that I knew exactly what I was doing; I controlled the ball, saw the runner in the corner of my eye, then hit it an almost perfectly-weighted pass - although it happened in a split second, I felt like I had plenty time to perform the action.
Still, in general I wasn't great by the standards of most of the others, and spent most of my time trying to dribble it up the wing, before having to retreat and pass back to someone else. To my credit though, I was probably hard to dispossess.
I need to work on my shooting technique, as it's rubbish.

Kilmarnock Part 2
The other night, when I was staying at my pals flat, I was woken by the sound of an argument next door. There seemed to be one woman in particular who had some important point to get across as she was screaming and yelling at the top of her voice. There was also another woman I think, and a man. This infernal noise went on for a while, with both women really having a go at what I presume was the man, whose only notable part in the argument was "F**KING SHUT IT - THERE'S A WEAN SLEEPING NEXT DOOR!!". It was the most fierce argument I've ever heard, and throughout all I could think of was that poor wean, who will probably grow up disturbed, having been brought up in that hellish environment - another ned in the making - it's such a shame really, especially considering this goes on everywhere.

Beginner Evolution Badminton 0
No badminton this week.

Kilmarnock Part 3
As I was leaving my pals flat the other day to go shopping, I was "greeted" by a small boy, holding a tube of glue, and the conversation was as follows:
Boy: "I've got glue - Ah'm gonnae glue the gate shut so ye cannae get oot."
Me: "Go ahead - do it."
Boy: "Naw."
I then went on my way. I didn't feel any resentment to the boy, more pity, as I think he's the son of those people next door who had been arguing. From what I gather he just gets left out the back to entertain himself while his scum parents are probably smoking crack or suchlike. It's a real tragedy, and makes you realise how lucky you were in your upbringing when you see poor children such as the boy with the glue.

A Question of Knowledge
I went to a pub quiz in Ayr on Wednesday - we didn't win, not even close. I hate pub quizzes because my general knowledge is shite and they ask so many awkward questions. If the specialist subject is popular music, computing, films or at a push, TV, I might do ok, but if you ask me what kind of cake is eaten traditionally at Easter I'm all at sea.

Kilmarnock Part 4
The more time I spend in Kilmarnock, the more I am convinced that they rounded up most of the scum in the west of Scotland and put them all in the one place - Kilmarnock (well not all, some went to Ayr).
Okay, that's maybe a bit unfounded and harsh, but all the retail outlets, fast food restaurants and cinemas in the world are not going to save what is possibly the most gloomy, grey, depressing place I've been in. Ayr, all is forgiven (well, not quite).

New Toy
I'd been thinking of getting a digital multitrack recorder for recording some song ideas. I'd seen one advertised in a music shop in Glasgow, reduced by £50, which looked pretty good. By coincidence, the other day I was passing Cash Converters in Ayr and saw the very same one in the window for even cheaper (a further £70), and after enquiring I bought it (total saving £120). Apparently it was practically brand new. The model is a Boss BR-600, digital 8-track, and I look forward to messing around with it. I still haven't tried it yet, so for all I know it may not work. Still, if it does, what a bargain!

Watch Out In Morrison's, Killie Scum...
Upon entering Morrison's in Kilmarnock, you are greeted by what looks like Terry Venables in a policeman's uniform. Upon closer inspection, you realise it's just a cardboard cutout of a policeman who looks like Terry Venables. I looked closer for a logo or something which would suggest it was an advert or government campaign or something but no - just a cardboard cutout of a policeman - who happens to look like Terry Venables.
My point is this: what is it for? Are the police force understaffed? Are the neds really so stupid that they believe that the cut-out is a real policeman? If anyone knows, please write in.

ESE Reunited
I met up with the old comrades from ESE (university), for dinner and drinks in Glasgow, specifically for Derek's birthday. Was good to see everyone. Went to the place that used to be called "Clatty Pat's" on Great Western Road, which was good fun.

Daily Grind
No matter how long I've been in this job, I still find it tough getting up in the morning. Even 8 hours sleep never seems to feel like enough at the moment. At the weekends I've a tendency to hibernate for 10-12 hours a night, as if to compensate.
My daily commute was bad enough with having to get 2 buses each way from Prestwick, but since my move to Kilmarnock, I'm now commuting about 2.5 hours per day! Consequentially, I feel I don't have much time to relax when off. I'm just so sick of public transport at the moment. I haven't been exercising much the past few months, except for the recent once-weekly game of football. I've probably been drinking too much caffeine as well.
I think these factors have been causing me a bit of stress and hence the desire to sleep more. My intention is to move into my own place soon, near to my work (wherever that ends up being), with the intention of cutting down the commute. I think my days in Kilmarnock will soon be numbered. I don't see that as being such a bad thing.

DISCLAIMER: The views of Kilmarnock expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the town itself. This is just personal opinion based on my limited experience and time spent there.

Kilmarnock Life

Land of 1,000 Supermarkets
After having spent more time in Kilmarnock, I completely agree to Martin's comments regarding the place (see last post). I noticed just how many supermarkets are in Kilmarnock - Morrison's, Tesco, Lidl etc etc - the list goes on. Every supermarket chain in the world seems to have a representative here. This is a good thing if you like supermarkets, bad if you don't. Personally I'm indifferent, as will most likely use the Morrison's across the road from my pal's flat.
To its credit, Kilmarnock has some good facilities such as an Odeon, Power League soccer etc. It's not all doom and gloom.

Amateur Evolution Soccer 4
I played football again at the Power League, and this time there were enough for 6 a side. I've been trying to improve each week and I think this week was a slight improvement, certainly in terms of stamina. My control was good I think, and I made one or two decent passes, most notably a devastating through ball which led to a goal. There were a couple of times when I dribbled the ball past 2-3 players but the end product was lacking. I scored one goal, which was a bit of a tap-in, but still a goal. I wasn't quite as good as one or two of the veterans, who often ran circles round defences, scored some decent solo goals and displayed some excellent skill, but I think I at least made enough of a contribution to make it worthwhile. My spell in goal was pretty good, only conceding a single goal I think and making a few saves.
It was good fun as usual, and my team won (no idea the score, something like 50-48).
Anyway, what's important is the taking part and I find that even making a decent pass which leads to a goal alone can make it worthwhile.

Beginner Evolution Badminton 1
Played badminton with my sister up in Glasgow, which was also a lot of fun.

Kilmarnock Evolution Soccer 3

Smoking In Public
One thing that annoyed me the other day was the claim (by some MP, I think) that, by smoking in public, Kate Moss was setting a bad example to teenage girls. Now this annoyed me because, although Kate Moss, like many celebrities, spends much her time in the public eye, she is not public property. What she does in her spare time is up to her and so long as she's not smoking on the catwalk, I say leave her alone. It's the media, in particular tabloid photographers, who are in the wrong by taking pictures of Ms. Moss with a fag in her mouth. Surely they are to blame, not her. Nobody's forcing them to take the pictures and publish them in the Sun, now, are they?

Moving
On the domestic front, I've temporarily moved into a friend's place in Kilmarnock. What's very handy about it is that there is a supermarket/garage right across the road, not to mention pubs, restaurants and also the train/bus station nearby. Also, I'm paying a low rent as well (£45 a week, all inclusive), so can't complain. There is a bigger price to pay and that is a long commute, but I'll see how it goes. I'll give it a 2-4 week trial period before making any further commitments.
So far, Kilmarnock doesn't seem as bad as I previously thought. Before, the only impression I had of the place was passing through on the Ayr-Glasgow bus, when it always seemed to be a really overcast, grey day, with neds hanging around everywhere. From that perspective, you can't really blame me for thinking the place was a shithole.

Amateur Evolution Soccer
I played 5 a side again, and this time I enjoyed it more, because my fitness has improved and even my ability to an extent. It follows that the more stamina you have, the more effort you can put into attempting trickery, shots etc. I'm still not quite the standard of Ronaldinho but I hope to gradually improve each week, barring injury.
What helped a lot was that we played 5's on a 7's pitch and so there was acres of space in which to make runs and pick out passes. As a result it was a very attacking game, end to end stuff. Eventually I think I'd like to play 2-3 times a week. This was only the 3rd week running I'd played but since the first time I feel as if I've come on leaps and bounds.

Pro Evolution Soccer
I was involved in a Pro Evolution Soccer tournament, somewhere in a secret North Ayrshire location. Notable were the semi-finals, which were both full of drama and heartache. I lost mine 4-3, so because I didn't win, I'm going to go off in a huff and not mention it any more.

Settling In
In general I think I've been settling in to working full time again. It's not just the whole cameraderie of getting used to early mornings, public transport times etc, but also there is the other aspect to it, namely retraining yourself to be able to think productively etc. That's one thing I've found in the past, that after having been out of work for a while, it takes quite a bit of getting used to again. At this stage I feel more confident as am much more familiar e.g. with SQL Server whereas at the start, it was far more daunting as I had much more to learn.
My point is that I think you get to the stage where you are cruising along to an extent, where if there's a problem to be solved, you know where to look and what steps to take, rather than being totally lost and frustrated. That's why this time round I'm going to try and take care to hang onto the job and not drift again into the dark world of unemployment.
Early mornings I still find tough, but as time goes on, it gets marginally easier. It's too easy to think the grass is always greener somewhere else but if I was jobless again, I'd be wishing I had a job, and cursing leaving the last one. Been there, done that, sold the t-shirt just so I had some money.

As Time Goes By...

Cheque Mate
I'll start with some good news (for me anyway): I'd received a cheque out the blue a few months back, from the Inland Revenue, for a tax rebate of just short of £400. This was a complete surprise, something I certainly didn't expect. However, it had taken over 6 months to be forwarded to me from a previous address and hence the cheque had expired. I then had to write back to request a reissue. Several months later, after a few phonecalls, I finally received it. With this financial boost I've now managed to negate my overdraft in the space of a few months (one thing that's good about living with your parents and having social life == 0).
God bless the Inland Revenue (for now anyway, as invevitably the c**ts will take it all back off me gradually).

Hope Lies With the Neds
I finished reading 1984, George Orwell's nightmarish vision of the future (back when it was written, 1984 was the future). This dark tale of totalitarianism and repressed humanity I found gripping but it was gloomy and dark. Certainly not for the faint hearted. I enjoyed it though.

Amateur Evolution Soccer
I played football again on Tuesday. I still hadn't made a full recovery from the previous Tuesday as although my muscles felt much better, my stamina was low. I found that there were times when I could receive a pass and control the ball, but that effort alone was strenuous and I found it difficult to do much with the ball thereafter. I gave away possession a lot but on the plus side had a couple of decent moves. I thought my movement was good, going forward and tracking back, but other than that, if they'd played a 3 year old toddler in my place, nobody would've noticed any difference. I scored 1 goal, albeit not a great one.
The big plus is that this time I wasn't aching at all since playing. Last week, it had been so long since I did any proper exercise that my muscles were aching for 4 days afterwards! On the second day, transcending stairs was particularly tough going.
My aim is to gradually improve my fitness and eventually be able to make more of a contribution to the game.

And.. em.. Kilmarnock
I'm considering moving in with a friend from Kilmarnock who has recently bought a flat. This will probably be temporary as the commute will be a bit longer. However it'll do me good to be a bit more independent.